Too Funny not to share

Macabre Cat humor

This article is about a guy who loved his cat and then after it died, turned it into a catcopter.

http://motherboard.vice.com/2012/6/4/why-hate-the-catcopter-drones-are-the-real-flying-death--2

Neat Google Search

Go to Google:  Search for the term “Zerg Rush”

LOTR Bloopers

Titanic SUPER 3D!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJxj1mou03M&feature=g-all&context=G24f38fbFAAAAAAAABAA

Treadmill Spills

Shakespeare narrates a B-Ball Game

Shakespeare telss the three little pigs

Funny From my bro

Funny Animals on the iPad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdEBgZ5Y46U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkU_EsfsLyI&feature=fvst

How long do you REALLY have

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know,

'that the medication

You prescribed has to be taken

For the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence

Before the senior lady replied,

I'm wondering, then,

Just how serious is my condition

Because this prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS'.'

Too cute not to share...

A few other funnies

More Here

If

Australian 'stolen car' parks itself in closed garage

The car had been left in the wrong gear so rolled down an incline in the car park

A car reported as stolen from an Australian car park has been reunited with its owner, after apparently parking itself in a closed garage.

Adelaide police say they think the car rolled down an incline in the car park, across a street and into a garage forcing itself under the roller doors.

The door closed behind it and the car remained undetected for 17 days until the home-owners returned from holiday.

Fearing a burglary, they called police, who deduced the curious turn of events.

"Although the roller door was closed, it had been damaged slightly and pushed out of its tracks," a police spokesman is quoted in Australian media as saying.

Police believe that the car had not been left in the parking gear and so rolled though the car park and eventually "forced itself under the roller door, parking perfectly inside the garage where it remained safely under cover for 17 days".

The owner reported the car stolen after he parked it outside a shop in a suburb of Adelaide. Reports say that he had only bought the car two days earlier and only left it for a few minutes.

He told the police that he now recalls hearing a "bang", which may have been the car hitting the garage door, the Associated Press news agency reports.

Funny Quotes

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin...'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat..

- Alex Levine

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield

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Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..

- Phyllis Diller

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

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And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.

My Blackberry froze...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAG39jKi0lI

David passed on some decent science jokes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7DkeQ0roAM&feature=player_embedded

The REAL reason for the earthquake

"The Weather Channel says yesterdays east coast earthquake was caused by an unknown fault line running under D.C. and through Virginia. It is now being called Obama's Fault, though Obama will say it's really Bush's Fault. Other theories are that was the founding fathers rolling over in their graves or that what we all believed to be an earthquake was actually the effects of a 14.6 trillion dollar check bouncing in Washington."

News Bloopers